Hi there! Thank you for spending some of your time with me. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Patricia Daiker and author of this blog. You can read all the gritty details on the “All About….” Section of this site, but as a quick intro, I am a registered nurse, previous corporate executive, type 1 diabetic insulin pumper, wife, mother, puzzle solver, organizer and recovering “shoulder” & “pleaser”. I have spent a lot of time learning about the last two in the list and found that they contribute to a LOT Of struggles in my life. Through some very intentional, but often times accidental efforts, I have uncovered some secrets on how to live a more free and joyful journey despite having a chronic illness. I have been through periods where the struggle was too much, when I wanted off the merry-go-round of shots and needles and doctor visits, where I felt like it wasn’t worth all the effort. Those were really hard times. It sucked! Mostly because I was trying to be what others thought I should be or to be what pleased everyone else.
Through my blog, I want to share with you some of the tools, insights, perspective, and stories that have changed my life. So much so that I can say “I love having diabetes!”. Hang on, don’t click away yet!! Let me explain so it makes sense. First the word “Love”. I use it in the context of unfettered acceptance, meaning I hold no judgement, no desire for it to be different, and a clear realization for what it is. Isn’t that what we all want from love? To be seen for exactly who we are, how we are, and not judged? To be accepted no matter what. I hold the same regard for diabetes. I accept it. It just is what it is. I am over wishing it away and I don’t let it define what my life can be.
There were times when I “hated” diabetes. Literally hated it. I wanted it gone, I wanted to be like I was, I didn’t want to be different, I didn’t want to see that look in people’s eyes and feel their pity. How could I do this for the rest of my life?? It seemed impossible!! Carrying that much negative emotion & fear was exhausting. I felt even more judged by the medical professionals around me who seemed to think if I would just play diabetes better, my blood sugars would be 100% controlled. They were on the hunt for every infraction, every mis-step and every wrong thing I did and pointed it out at every office visit or every day at work. I sucked at being the perfect diabetic. Every finger stick that wasn’t 70-110 was failure on my part. To make sure I was aware of this, they circled them on my blood sugar print outs and grilled me to find out what I was “doing” wrong. Every morsel of food was an indication of how “good” I was and even the best-meaning friends and family piled it on “Are you sure you should eat that? Do you need to eat? Does your doctor allow you to eat that? Did you check your blood sugar? Do you need to check your blood sugar? Should you be doing that? Why aren’t you doing that?” and on and on and on. There was a time I tried to justify and defend my answer to every one of those questions. It made me feel very judged and like a failure.
So if that is where you are right now, I totally get it. It is hard not to love a part of your life. But I am living proof that by changing some thinking between your ears, adjusting your perspective and making some new choices you can get to a better place. It is not an overnight thing. It takes some faith, courage and tenacity, but there is ALWAYS some little thing that can make you feel better. When you add them up you start feeling a lot better and life is a little brighter. At some point, you will believe differently, then you behave differently, then you feel differently. No will power required!!
If this speaks to you in anyway, I believe you were meant to hear it. My prayer each time before I write, is that God uses me to touch someone. Today, I hope it is you .
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My plan is to post weekly and do daily inspirational quotes. My next post will be the Three Things You Must Do To Feel Better!
Peace,
Patricia %
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